


Blame

by Xx__Kachi__xX



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Night Terrors, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Self-Hatred, Survivor Guilt, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 17:36:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18877963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xx__Kachi__xX/pseuds/Xx__Kachi__xX
Summary: After the Snap, everyone is gone, and Thor blames himself for it.





	Blame

Since the days after he had taken Thanos’ advice and gone for the head, Thor had become distant from the other Avengers. He was still waiting for the Asgardian refugees who had survived Thanos’ attack on the _Statesmen_ , so there wasn’t much he could do at the moment.

The work was done. If there had been any chance that Thanos would tell them anything else about the stones that could help them bring everyone back, then he had blew it by decapitating the Mad Titan.

He’s alone at the moment, sitting at the end of a bed in a spare bedroom. He’s not sure if it was one of the Avengers rooms who disappeared in the Decimation, or if it truly is just a room that never got used. He never asked anyone (he didn’t _want_ to ask anyone). If this did belong to one of the fallen Avengers, then it makes him feel even worse, because he doesn’t deserve to be there. He should’ve been one of the ones who disappeared. Not Sam. Not Wanda. Not T’Challa or Shuri. It should’ve been him. And just because he’s still standing there, he hates himself for it.

Thor sighs. He should be sleeping right now, like a normal person. But, does he really want to sleep? The answer is no. But, he is tired.

So, eventually he does give in to sleep. But the dream world isn’t much better than the waking one.

He relives the attack on the _Statesmen,_ watching Thanos and his forces slaughter his people and his brother. And, he is powerless to stop it. He isn’t trapped by anything and he isn’t injured, not like how he was in real life. He just can’t move. He can’t do one simple thing, like put one foot in front of the other. He can’t move forward to reach Loki.

“ _I assure you brother, the sun will shine on us again._ ”

No, no, no, no. _Loki, please don’t,_ he thinks, trying to at least move his hand to grab him. Nothing happens, of course. For the umpteenth time, he gets to watch Loki lunge at Thanos with the dagger. What was he thinking? He had to have known that it would fail. Did he have another plan up his sleeve? If he did, then he never got to use it.

For days, a part of Thor desperately believed that it was just another one of Loki’s tricks and that his brother was still alive. But if that were true, then where was Loki right now? He doesn’t think Loki would stay away for this long. He would’ve met up with the Asgardian refugees. But, then again, would he really? Before Thanos had attacked, he had asked if it was really such a good idea to bring him back to Earth. He wouldn’t come back here.

Alive or dead, Loki is gone.

His nightmare shifts to the battle of Wakanda, where they are starting to overpower the Outriders. And then _he_ arrives. Thanos, the Mad Titan himself, steps in through a portal, the Infinity Gauntlet on his hand. He has five stones. He just needs one more, and then his plan would succeed.

The entire battle seemed to be going at the speed of light. He was dimly aware of Wanda destroying the Mind Stone, killing Vision. He should’ve gotten there faster, if it wasn’t for more of those stupid Outriders getting in the way. How were there so _many_ of them?

He sees Thanos use the Time Stone and undo what Wanda had destroyed, bringing back Vision and then ripping his stone from his head and tossing him to the ground (just like he had tossed Loki).

Then everything seems to slow down. Stormbreaker rushing towards Thanos, deflecting the powers of all the Infinity Stones. And then it is buried in his chest.

Thor is then right in front of Thanos, burying the axe deeper into him, a murderous glint in his eyes.

“ _I told you. You’d die for that._ ”

Thanos is trying to say something, his voice a faint whisper. Thor waits for him to spit it out, if he doesn’t die before then. He should of finished him off right there.

" _You should have gone for the head._ ”

It happens so fast that Thor doesn’t even have time to stop it.

 _Damn it_. If only he had aimed a few inches higher, then none of this would’ve happened and half of the universe wouldn’t be _dead_. This is his fault.

_You should have gone for the head._

_You should have gone for the head._

_You should have gone for the head._

The phrase repeats over and over in his brain like a mantra and he hates it, because it just reminds him of how much he had failed. Instead of the quiet taunts, it soon turns into a scream, and it isn’t Thanos who is saying it. He can hear Loki, the fallen Avengers, his Mother and Father, everyone. Everyone knows what he did and how there’s no undoing it. Everyone is dead because of him, and it’s no secret.

Things like useless, and failure come in as well and Thor covers his ears to try and block it out.

The screaming gets louder and Thor is on the ground, begging them to stop, but his cries are drowned out by their voices.

It all becomes too much for him and he wakes up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. He looks around the room before remembering where he is and he tries to calm down.

He kicks the covers off of him and shakily steps out of the bed, the images of his nightmare still fresh in his mind.

It’s clear that he won’t be falling back asleep anytime soon. Not on his own, anyway. So, as silently as he can, he exits the bedrooms and walks past the other rooms filled with his sleeping friends. He walks into the kitchen, reaches toward the fridge, and grabs a drink.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a small little oneshot I wanted to write, so here it is! Thor is my second favorite Avenger and I want to give him a thousand hugs. ;-;


End file.
